Animal Instinct

When I see a crawling child smashing a passing by cockroach, I am convinced that I might have killed several when I was a nappy child. This conviction grows stronger when I glance through my past life as a growing child later attaining adulthood and then migrating into the other side of the age.

When I started walking and could throw a stone, my first causality was a frog. It used to be an easy target but it seldom got hurt. Most of the time, it leaped away even after being hit by a stone of its size.

At the age of ten, I gained expertise in using a catapult. Basically, catapulting was meant for felling mangoes and guavas but if a bird came into the eyesight , it had to fly before my stone bullet reached it. I must have injured and killed 5 to 6 sparrows, a mynah and finally a crow. The last was a nightmare for me for days to come. As soon as , I came out of my house, crows started to cry hoarse and tried to injure my head and face. It continued for more than a month. That was the end of catapulting.
Next in line were the stray dogs. We used to take pot shot from a distance. After getting hit, the howling of the dog gave us immense happiness. This foray also stopped when my house got a pet and a passing boy hit it with a stone when my pet was relieving itself outside the gate in the bushes. I could not stand the cry of my favourite.

My father used to give his 0.22 bore rifle to his workers to kill stray dogs suffering from hydrophobia. Once in a while, he used to correct his rifle’s sight by aiming and hitting a target which normally used to be a fruit on a tree.

When I was 21, I accompanied my senior colleagues to have a look-see of a shikar party. We went to a nearby jungle with 0.22 bore rifle. One of my colleague bagged a rabbit while another used his splinter gun to shower splinter on a bunch of pigeons. He killed two.I did not fire even a single shot.

My Muslim friends took delight in slitting the throat of chickens in slow motion which they termed as “Halal”. I am a non-vegetarian. I generally favoured the meat of a goat whose throat was slit before me to be sure of its freshness and masculinity. Once, I took my 3 year old daughter to such a sight. She became vegetarian thereafter.

When, I was thirty, I was given an opportunity to kill a goat . In fact, 11 goats were purchased for the purpose of serving NV delicacies to the guests of my brother-in-law marriage. I was told that this was the prevalent Rajput tradition there and the sister’s husband was honoured by inviting him for the first kill. I was given a hereditary sword. I was instructed the way I would operate the sword. I was successful in parting the head from the body in one great blow. That was the turning point.

Suddenly , I found myself turning my eyes from goats getting beheaded or chicken getting their throat slit. Even felling of fully grown trees started giving me uneasiness. I owned the hobby of gardening. I had turned 50.

It was 1998 when my son brought in a puppy. It was a mixed breed so I started teaching it to fetch balls and obeying some small commands. Once, when I threw a ball towards it, the ball hit the pet on its face. From that day, the pet just backed down when I tried to give him any command. I hit it with a chain. That made it still more afraid of me. I could not stand its misty eyes. From that day, I never inflicted pain on any creature. Rather, I would sprinkle some grains on the terrace for the birds and bought bread and biscuits to give to pets living in my vicinity. By the time , I had two pet dogs with me.

In 2008 my 1998 born pet ran out of my house panicked by the  bursting fire crackers seven days before the Deepawali(light) festival. Last year, my second pet died of injury inflicted on its stomach by a big dog. While dying, he left my house and sat near the portico to take its last breath. I vowed never to keep a pet.

My younger brother who lives in the main house inside the campus has 5 dogs of different pedigree. They come in the morning to demand a piece of bread from me. My day begins with such a good note.

Apart from animals, the plant and the trees also respond. When I came to live in my present abode, the mango tree by the side of my room seldom gave fruits. But once I started living with my family , it seemed to have a company. It is a fully grown tree planted by my late mother. I have never done any rearing or watering but yes I always watch it affectionately. It started giving the most delicious mangoes and is by far the most fruit laden tree in any year.

This year I was away since eight months and returned only in mid-July. This is the time when mango trees are fully relived from fruits. On my way home, I prayed that I would like to see only one mango still hanging on the tree. The next morning, I went upstairs. I looked up towards the tree.. There was one fruit still there. Five minutes later , a parrot came . It plucked the fruit. It sat on the roof by the side of the tree. It took ten minutes to eat that fruit which I would have taken 1 minute to devour. The longest enjoyment that I ever had of eating a fruit of that size.
How true are our holy books which says that in the beginning there was only stone and debris. Then there were vegetation. Thereafter came the animals. The social animal called "Man" was the logical progression. And in the end there is the humane, , the exact specification to reach the doors of the Almighty.